They always say that you’ll only get to know the person once you start living with him/her. True. Marriage definitely opens the doors to a lot of realizations and life lessons that can either make or break the relationship. As a couple, you’ll get to know your spouse even more because you get to see how s/he is from the time you wake up in the morning until you fall asleep at night and everything else that happens in between. While some couples consider this ‘getting to know you more’ experience as a challenge and an instrument that can help strengthen their marriage, there are others who treat this as a start of their downfall.
Women always dream of a fairy-tale ending and happily ever after. Unless you want to keep that dream alive and prevent your husband from giving in to temptations, here are five wife attitudes you might want to avoid in order to keep your marriage.
1. “I can do it myself!”
One trait that is common among most, if not all, women is the need to be in control of every situation. As a wife and a parent, there’s nothing wrong with being hands-on to your children and making sure that everything is clean and all their needs are properly attended to. However, it can be annoying especially when you try to be a superwoman to the point of doing everything on your own, refusing to ask for help. Remember that no one can survive alone.
It won’t hurt if you give your husband some tasks too, especially when it comes to taking care of your children. He needs to feel that you need him too and he’s trustworthy enough to look after your children. After all, he’s also a part of the family.
2. Mrs. Swipe
Every wife should be given some time to relax once in a while. There’s no harm in treating yourself with a body massage or shopping or buying your kids a toy or video game when they get high grades in school. However, the problem arises when your spending habits became out of control, especially when the more important needs such as tuition fees and medical needs are being neglected. And worse, there is a ballooning credit card bills that get bigger each day because of the uncontrollable spending.
If you have issues with your spending or there’s a debt hiding under your closet, then it’s better to talk to your husband about this. Financial issues need to be addressed and your husband needs to know what you’ve been up to especially when it comes to money.
3. The Mother Superior
Your favorite line? “I told you so.” You want everything under your watch – from the food to eat to movies to watch to activities to do during weekends and even how the whole household should operate. You want things in the house to work in a certain way that is according to your preference. And when it doesn’t go your way, you do everything just to fix it in order to restore control.
Aside from this, you even tend to control your husband by constantly pointing out how he dresses, how he forgot to drink his vitamins, or the need to be home in time. You also tend to nag and never forgive him for forgetting to flush the toilet or get his clothes properly in the cabinet or even put his shoes back in the rack.
While you want a certain control in the house, your husband will find this irritating. He’s already an adult and doesn’t need another mother to remind him of what needs to be done. There is a tendency to hurt his ego as a man and you would not want that to happen.
4. “… for my family’s sake.”
Being a wife and a mother requires a lot of sacrifices. It means putting your family’s needs above everything else. Oftentimes, you give up your own happiness and dreams for your family’s sake, thinking that it is the right thing to do. There’s nothing wrong with that. But when you start giving up everything to the point of giving up your identity and at the same time neglecting yourself, that’s a different case. You don’t have to forget who you are as a person just because you have a family. Your husband would want to go home and see his wife as if it’s the first time he’s seen you. Your husband would want to look at you and still be able to see that you are the same woman he fell in love with 10 years ago.
Some men seldom find this with their wives because women tend to forget to put on a little makeup or dress nicely once in a while. That’s shouldn’t happen. Your husband will love you, even more, when he still sees you as the same woman, only better and more responsible.
5. “Honey, I’m too tired.”
Physical intimacy is vital in every relationship. But when sex is neglected, then problems arise. Oftentimes, women complain that they are too tired from work or from taking care of the kids that they have no more energy to do it at night. Hence, the husband feels unwanted because his wife is not even in the mood or does not even take time to satisfy his sexual needs. As a result, he channels his energy and looks for someone else who can give him and fulfill his needs.
As a woman, it is important to take some time off and spend at least a few hours with your husband. Spending some alone time together should be a part of your routine as a couple in order to maintain a stronger relationship.
Are you one or a combination of any of these traits? If yes, then it’s not too late to change. Talk to your husband and work out your issues. Tell him what needs to be done and you should do your part in trusting him and changing yourself too. The earlier you address these issues, the earlier it gets resolved which can prevent any further problems and at the same time, help improve your marriage and your relationship as a couple.